Forward in LJ-form!

I have too much time on my hands... I found this in one of my old files from high school, and even though it was an email forward, it's still pretty funny...

1.  If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
2.  Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3.  Going to church/temple/mosque doesn't make you religious any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4.  It isn’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
5.  Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
6.  My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7.  Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8.  It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9.  For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10.  If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11.  Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12.  A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13.  Eat well, stay fit, and die anyway.
14.  Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15.  No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16.  A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17.  Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18.  Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19.  Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20.  There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21.  Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22.  By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23.  Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24.  Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25.  If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
  • Current Music
    Family Guy
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Taken from Sproffee!

According to our patron saint Linus Van Pelt, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the most sincere pumpkin patch on Halloween and then flies through the air to deliver toys to all the good little children in the world.

To commemorate this glorious holiday occasion, the Great Pumpkin Icon Meme of 2007 has been created.

1. Take your default icon and doodle a pumpkin on it.
2. Copy and Paste this description in your Livejournal so others can do it
3. Wait in your pumpkin patch for the Great Pumpkin on Oct 31. :D
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
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(no subject)

After a short evening of attempting to create an original Halloween martini drink to bestoy upon friends (if I see them or if they come up here around Halloween), I decided to record my orginial "me" drink for posterity and possible copywrite protection.  Not that I'm sure it hasn't been done before, or doesn't exist elsewhere.  If it does, please let me know so I can revise mine to make it original.

I call it...

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  • Current Music
    birdies munching on their dinner

Family Ties

This past weekend, my parents decided to take a trip to Fort Ticonderoga.  We stayed in Lake George, which is a lovely tourist trap complete with... a haunted house.  My brother and I were the only two brave enough to go in, and it was really cool...  The back story concerns (and I know I've heard of this plot in a horror movie somewhere) a mad Dr. Morbid, and his obsession with preserving the living in wax.  There were body parts everywhere, fog, blood, and random screams amidst electrical crackling in the background.  One of the mirrors illuminated to show the hanging corpse of his distraught wife, and there was even a secret door in his cobwebbed study.  It was exactly what I hope to turn a room into one day for a Halloween party.

Our favorite part, bar none, was the last room of the tour.  The alarm started going off, and (as scripted) the tour guide became frantic.  "Which one of you touched something?  Who touched something?  Tell me now or we're all going to die!!"

Without even thinking about it, I extended my arm and pointed squarely at Oscar.  With the strobe lights picking up their pace, and the alarm getting louder, my brother found himself the sole subject of the top-hatted goth's accusations.  However, his only regret is he was not so fast on the draw to pin the blame on me.
  • Current Mood
    amused amused